Monthly Archives: October 2010

50th Marriage Anniversary

On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired Marine, and asked, “Honey, do you remember this?  He looked up from his newspaper … Continue reading

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Marriage

Married life is like a deck of cards. It starts off with two hearts and a diamond. Ends up with you looking for a club and a spade

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Making Love with a Prostitute

Joe was walking home late at night and sees the shadow of a woman. “Twenty dollars…”she whispers. He’d never been with a hooker before, but he decides, what the hell, it’s only twenty bucks. So they hide in the bushes. … Continue reading

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Running With a Condom

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway. “Oh my … Continue reading

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The Guy Needs a Push

A man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,Standing in the pouring rain, is asking for … Continue reading

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Professor Says that Prove That This Chair Does Not Exist

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after an entire semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on … Continue reading

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My Darling, My Lover, My Beautiful Wife

THESE ARE ACTUAL ENTRIES FOR A COMPETITION IN THE WASHINGTON POST WHICH ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE POEM WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:  1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up … Continue reading

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Sex in Any Form But No Dancing

A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, Ahmed meet with his Sheikh for counseling. The Sheikh asks if he have any last questions before he leave.  Ahmed asks, ‘We realize it’s tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, … Continue reading

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What Does One Do with Perverts?

A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. The ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”    The old farmer said,  “That’s my pet rooster, chuck. wherever i go, chuck goes.”  “I’m sorry … Continue reading

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Mom Why Do You ve Two Nipples?

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister… After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’ MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old … Continue reading

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