Van has been doing police work for over 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far away from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a scraggily dressed, bearded giant of a man is standing there.
“Name’s Anthony, your neighbor from 90 miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00”
“Great”, says Van, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”
As Anthony is leaving, he stops: “Gotta warn you. Be some drinkin.”
“Not a problem”, says Van. “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ’em.”
The big man starts to leave but stops again: “More’n likely gonna be some fightin too…”
“Well, I get along ok with people so I’ll be all right! I’ll be there. Thanks again.”
“Also likely be some wild sex too.”
“Now that’s really not a problem” says Van, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, What should I wear?”
“Oh, that doan much matter, just gonna be the two of us.