Monthly Archives: December 2012

Company Memo

RE: Gala Christmas Party FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO:         All Employees DATE:    October 1, 2012 I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private … Continue reading

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Forget Newton & Galileo: Here Are The Real Laws Of Nature

Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of … Continue reading

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Running Hands on Horses and Mom

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why … Continue reading

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Silver Hair on Chest

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my … Continue reading

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Wanted Pictures

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re … Continue reading

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Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried … Continue reading

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Instrument Between the Legs

Those who know of Sir Thomas Beecham, the legendary conductor who founded the famous symphonic orchestras the London Philharmonic and the Royal Philharmonic will know of his, often acerbic, wit. Once during an orchestral rehearsal he admonished the young cellist … Continue reading

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