Australian Idiot Sightings


I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave
the cashier a $5 note.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a
dollar coin back.’
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to
repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said ‘We’re
sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.’
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in

Do not confuse the people at MacD’s in Shepperton Vic.


We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that
we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest
one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower..
He shook his head and said, ‘You need a 1/4 horsepower.’
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said,
‘NOOO, it’s not.  Four is larger than two.’

We haven’t used that repairman since.  Happened in  Bankstown NSW.


I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council
to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason:  ‘Too many wombats are being hit by cars out
here!  I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

Story from Bauple Qld


My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Castle Hill, Sydney …….


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked,
‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your

To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would
I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

This happened at Melbourne Airport


The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it’s safe to
cross the street.
I was crossing with an ‘intellectually challenged’
co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is
Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing

She is a government employee in the Adelaide P.O. SA


When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried
the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’
His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’

Holden Dealership Townsville Qld

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