The pump attendant, who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who he is.
“Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
“What are those?” asks the attendant.
“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.
“Well, what on this God’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman.
“I put my balls on them when I’m driving”, says Tiger.
“Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “Mercedes thinks of everything!”