Christmas on Friday the Thirteenth

Clip_39A friend told the blonde, “Christmas is on a Friday this year….”
The blonde then said, “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
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Two blondes find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked, “What if one explodes before we get there?”
The other says, “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
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A blond is in the bathroom and her husband shouts, “Did you find the shampoo?”
She says, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do…it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine.”
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A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish.
“I think it’s got epilepsy,” she tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me.”
The blonde says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet!”
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A blonde spies a letter lying on her doormat.
It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND”
She spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
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A blonde was driving home, drunk as a skunk.
Suddenly she has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls her over, so she tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, “That’s your air freshener swinging about!”

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