Nice to be a Mama Bear

Clip_78Bear Encounter

A middle school teacher, from Missoula, Montana, USA, suffered bruising to his ribs, his ego and received large scratch on his back after he rode into a black bear while cycling to school earlier this week.

Mr Jim Litz said he was travelling about 25 mph when he came upon a rise and spotted a black bear about 10 feet in front of him. He didn’t have time to stop and drove into the animal.

We learned that he then tumbled over the handlebars; whereby his helmet hit the bear’s back and the two went cart wheeling down the road.

The bear rolled over Litz’s head, cracking his helmet, and scratching his back before quickly scarpering away up a hill above the road.

Fortunately for Mr Litz, his wife drove by shortly after the crash and was able to take her husband to hospital. We believe that he will be able to return to teaching science at Target Range Middle School by the end of this week.

I’m Gonna be a Bear

In this life I’m a woman.

In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate.

You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.  Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate expects you to wake up growling. He expects that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, I’m gonna be a bear

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