A guy calls the hospital and says, “You gotta send help! My wife’s going into labor!” The nurse says, “Calm down. Is this her first child?” To which he replies, “No! This is her f#*king husband!”
Screwed Wife Joke
A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling “Who’s been screwing my wife?” A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, “You don’t have enough ammo, mate!”
Track Team Steroids Joke
The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids. The team’s performance soars. They win the county, state and eventually national championship.
A few days before the international grand finals, Penelope, a 16-year-old hurdler visits her coach and says, “Coach, I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest.” “What?” the coach says in a panic, “How far down does it go?” Penelope replies, “Down to my testicles. That’s something else I want to talk to you about.”