The first evening, the ship’s captain received the following note from the wife of a wealthy and influential plantation owner:
“Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda’s Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance.
“They should arrive promptly at 8 PM, prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be excellent dancers, as they will be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies. One last point: No Jews please.”
In a letter personally delivered by his Lieutenant, the captain replied: “Madam, thank you for your gracious invitation. In order to present the very best that the US Navy offers, I shall be sending four of my best and most prized officers for your daughters debutante ball.
“One is a lieutenant commander, and a graduate of Annapolis with an additional Masters degree from MIT in fluid technologies and ship design.
“The second is a Lieutenant, one of our helicopter pilots, and a graduate of Northwestern University in Chicago , with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering. His Masters Degree and PhD. in Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering are from Texas Tech University and he is also an astronaut candidate.
“The third officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer systems and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification on his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech.
“Finally, the fourth officer, also a lieutenant commander, is our ship’s doctor, with an undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and a medical degree is from the University of North Carolina . We are proud of him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda. None of them, naturally, are Jews.”
Upon receiving this letter, the hostess was delighted and looked forward to Thursday with pleasure. Her daughter would be escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer, and the other ladies in her social circle would be insanely jealous.
At precisely 8 PM on Thursday, the hostess heard a polite knock on the door, and she opened it to find, in full dress uniform, four handsome, smiling Black officers standing outside.
The lady stammered, “B-b-but there must be some mistake!”
“No, Ma’am,” said the first officer “I assure you, Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes.”