People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
When people say, “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”.That’s right! What good is a cake if you can’t eat it?
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
When something is ‘new and improved!’ Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. Yes, the bus has come. That’s why I’m standing here waiting for it
People who say things like ‘my eyes aren’t what they used to be. So what did they used to be? Ears, gum, boot?
When your eating something and someone asks ‘Is that nice?’ No it’s really revolting, I always eat stuff I hate.
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
When you’re involved in an accident and someone asks ‘Are you alright?’ Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.