Fucking the Priest

Clip_327At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota, stands up and proclaims :  “If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!”

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says “If the rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a  foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!”

More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile : “If the rabbi stays, I will give him sex.”

There is total silence.

The rabbi, blushing, asks her: “Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?”

Estelle’s 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:

“Well, I just asked my husband how we could help and he said : “Fuck him.”

 

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