Monthly Archives: September 2016

Solving the Squirrel Problem

The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will. At the  Baptist  Church the squirrels … Continue reading

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Missing Wife

Husband went to the police station to report that his wife was missing… Husband:   My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home… Sergeant:   What is her height? Husband:   Gee, I’m not sure. About five-feet four. … Continue reading

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A Soldier Caught in Kashmir

A JNU professor, a reporter and a tough old soldier were captured by terrorists in Kashmir. The leader of the terrorists told them he’d grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded. The liberal professor said, ‘Well, … Continue reading

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A Southern Accent

A real southern gentleman went to Las Vegas . Sitting in a cocktail lounge, and sipping on some bourbon, he beckoned the waitress and said quietly, “Miss, y’all sure are a luvly, luvly lady. Can ah persuade y’all to give … Continue reading

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Three Roses

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret, and the surgeon agreed. … Continue reading

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Understanding Static Electricity

Just the other day a friend and I were walking through the Pro shop at a local golf course when he touched the door knob and got shocked by static electricity. He turns to me and says,” Damn, I wish … Continue reading

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Will He Jump?

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 p.m. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 p.m. news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of … Continue reading

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