Category Archives: Animals

Sheep Lies

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi ‘G’day, mind if I talk … Continue reading

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God Gave Us So Many Years

On the first day, God created the dog, and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty … Continue reading

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Jellyfish in the Ass

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial … Continue reading

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Prawns Do Not Like Sharks

Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea , two prawns  were swimming around.  One  called Justin and the other called  Christian. The  prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one … Continue reading

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The Rooster Was Politician in the Making

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot … Continue reading

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Getting Even With Your Banker

Below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 82-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the paper Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my … Continue reading

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How Were the Lions Caught?

Two lions escape from a zoo. One of the lions had been captured from the jungle, so he runs back to the jungle. The other was born in the zoo itself – so is basically a city-slicker. He vanishes into … Continue reading

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The Horney Parrot

A parrot swallows a viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off .Later, when the owner opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. “How come you are sweating?” The parrot replies – ‘You have … Continue reading

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Mother-in-Law Face to Face with the Lion

A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter’s wife awakened to find her mother gone. She woke her husband, and they both set off in … Continue reading

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British Humor is Different

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog. FREE PUPPIES Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. … Continue reading

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