The leader of the terrorists told them he’d grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded.
The liberal professor said, ‘Well, I’m a foodie, so I’d like one last plate of tandoori chicken.’
The reporter said, ‘I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.’
The leader turned to the soldier and asked, ‘And now, Havaldarji, what is your final wish?
‘Kick me in the rear,’ said the soldier.
‘What?’ asked the leader, ‘Will you mock us in your last hour?’
‘No, I’m NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the rear,’ insisted the soldier.
So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the rear.
The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took from one of the already dead terrorists, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11.
In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the soldier was untying the Professor and the Reporter, they asked him, ‘Why didn’t you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the rear?’
‘Because’ replied the soldier, ‘if I had shot first, you two morons would have reported that I was the aggressor and the root cause of all the blood shedding in Kashmir.’
… such is the irony of Indian Democracy…