Tag Archives: Elderly

An Elderly Guy in the Gym

I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in. I asked the trainer standing next to me, “What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?” The trainer looked me over … Continue reading

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How Old is Grandma?

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general. The Grandmother replied, “Well, let me think … Continue reading

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The Penis Poem

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Getting Even With Your Banker

Below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 82-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the paper Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my … Continue reading

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Pushing Up Bottom the Deodorant Stick

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: “Remove cap and push up bottom.” I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.

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Lovemaking Advice For Seniors

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in bed. 2. Set the timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Adjust the mood with lighting (turn them all off). 4. Make sure you … Continue reading

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Seventy Quid is Seventy Quid

Stewart and his wife Barbara go to the county fair every year, And every year Stewart would say, “Barbara, I’d like to ride in that helicopter” Barbara always replied, “I know Stewart, but that helicopter ride is seventy quid, and … Continue reading

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Stepping on a Duck in Heaven

Three women die together in an accident And go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, ‘We only have one rule here in heaven: Don’t step on the ducks!’ So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are … Continue reading

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Little Ralphy On Getting Older

Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, ‘Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It … Continue reading

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Grey Hair Due to Doing Wrong Things

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked … Continue reading

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